Friday, April 29, 2011

I'm scared.

That's it, really.
Getting scared about inpatient.
Big time scared.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Telling the kids.

Well, first off Happy Easter!

While Jason was at work today I took the opportunity to tell the boys I will be gone for a while. How do you even do that - telling your children you'll be gone for about a month or so and not quite sure when you'll be back? I got advice from Kristin on how to do it, so the conversation went a little like this:

Me: Mommy's going to be gone for a while to learn how to eat better and be healthy.

William began to get that trembly chin after I told him how long, approximately. His face got red.

William: Why can't you just go to St. Al's?

Me: St. Al's doesn't have what I need.

So we discussed more about why I'm going. It's hard to put an eating disorder and all its components into a child's eyes. So, to take the sting out of me being gone, I put William in charge of organizing a welcome back from Utah party. Needless to say, he's quite happy about being in charge of a party! Mission accomplished.
Andrew, however, didn't seem to care one way or another. I told him the same thing, but he was more interested in something else.
Leaving them isn't going to be easy. Maybe some of you are wondering how I can leave my family for that long. Believe me, the decision wasn't made overnight. At my last appointment I kept telling Doc, "I'm scared. I'm nervous." And I still am.

Be Coolio