Thursday, February 9, 2012

Buck Up, Baby.

Bad days. Oh yes....Jenn has them. See that? Just tried to detach myself from it.I've often had trouble about blogging about the bad stuff. Don't want to be a bummer. As logically as I know that bad days happen, I don't want mine in focus, But I can't see anything else right now.

And here I sit. Fighting the frustrated tears. The scared to death, frozen tears. Plans of crash dieting swirling in my mind...no, no NO. My therapist - my soundboard - will be leaving soon. Fuck. There is virtually no one else that will listen to me so openly. I feel like I am the only one with this thing....this death sentence. That's what it feels like anyway.

There comes a time when I just can't trudge ahead right now. I am having a bad moment, I am......scared. Big time. Not sure if I'm ready. Want someone to walk with me. Don't think people have time. And I am so envious and  jealous of alcoholics who can just pick up and go to a meeting. More power to them.

Suck it up, hon. Put on your big girl panties and deal. F that. Watch me cry like a baby.

This is a bad day. Consider yourself introduced.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

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