Friday, May 6, 2011

I'm Diving IN

I'm ditching my other blog, Hooks, Farms, and Faith. Thanks to those of you that followed it, but I wanted to try something new and FOCUS which is the exact opposite of what I had going on with Hooks.
Ok, big news. Anyone who has followed my blog, knows me or has even read just one bit of Hooks knows I have an eating disorder. Big whoop. We all have something. I have been in so-called recovery for a long time...well, maybe not long to some. About two years. Give or take. Anyway, it's been a mess. Frustrations on all parties involved in my recovery (including yours truly) have been evident for a long time. So at my last check up with my doc, Doc (that's what I call her, yes.), she pops the question that I'm sure has been coming for a while.
Center For Change
"What do you think about inpatient?"


That was about a month or so ago. Oh, yah, the big news. Drum roll, please. ............I am officially going inpatient for my eating disorder on May 16th. I am crossing state lines in hopes an "intensive inpatient therapy" will assist me in my recovery efforts. Acute inpatient. Intensive inpatient. Whatever you want to call it, that'll be me in just a few short weeks.

I am sacrificing a LOT, as is my family. I am scared out of my mind. Nervous. Excited. Contemplative. Any descriptive you can think of, that's how I feel.
I will be away from Doc, Jaime (my dietitian), Kristin (my therapist) and others I have trusted and will put my trust and faith into new docs, dietitians, nurses, therapists, etc.
One new thing will be the other women.
Others with this deadly disease.
I know they're out there, but I will finally get to converse face to face with some.
I make it sound like a dream, but it's more of a blessed reality t0 know I'm not alone.

Inpatient. I'll be gone a long time. Well, it'll feel like a long time - a month +- a week or so.

I've had so much support from my current treatment team and friends and family. My flight is booked and in less than 4 weeks I will be officially on the INside.

But, let me reiterate: I'm really scared. Eeeeekk! I've been assured this is normal, so I'll just roll with it.
Thanks, everyone.

1 comment:

CommCounselor said...

Jenn, I'm proud of the work you've been doing all these years to carve out your path to recovery. I realize that it hasn't been easy, but your determination to work and move forward has been very inspiring! It's obvious that you have a lot to be grateful for in your life, and I can see that you don't take it lightly. You're a wonderful mother, wife, daughter, friend, etc. & it shows in your writing & your life. I wish you the best for the next leg of your journey. Lots of love to you! :-)

Be Coolio